Burrowing Al Reports · Episode 11

Costco Survival Guide

Published July 11, 2026

Cape Coral has entered Costco on a Saturday. The parking lot is completely gridlocked with a family circling for a spot near the giant flagpole. A shopper who walked in with nothing but a wallet comes out pushing a flat cart loaded down with paper towels, snacks, water, ketchup, patio furniture, and enough toilet paper for a decade. Three carts block the main aisle over a debate about free samples until Burrowing Al steps in as referee, whistle in beak. One determined shopper works the entire sample counter — pizza, nuggets, cookies, sausage, juice, ice cream — and Al checks it all off his clipboard: LUNCH COMPLETE. It all closes out at golden hour with the world's best deal: a $1.50 hot dog and soda combo, right next to the $420,000 flagpole.

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New to the series? Start from Episode 1 or read up on what the flagpole actually cost that started this whole thing.

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