The Ibis Mafia

Burrowing Al is just trying to enjoy a basket of fries under the flagpole at Bernice Braden Park when the local ibis flock rolls up. They don't chase everybody, Al reports — they choose. Negotiations open fast and go nowhere, and by the time it's over Al's walked away calling it "taxation," not theft. Big flag, little dinosaurs, and the dinosaurs always get the fries.

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Why the ibis always win

Anyone who's eaten outdoors near the water in Cape Coral knows the drill: the ibis flock isn't scared of people, isn't scared of the flagpole, and definitely isn't scared of your fries. They walk right up, size up the table, and pick their target — usually whoever's holding the food closest to the edge. It's not random. It's a system.

Burrowing Al's version just narrates what every local already knows from experience: once they've "selected" you, the negotiation is already over.

Burrowing Al's official takeaway: it wasn't theft, it was taxation.

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Burrowing Al Reports drops daily on TikTok, YouTube Shorts, and Instagram Reels, and every episode gets archived here on the blog. Follow @capecoralflagpole for the fastest updates.